The Pacific Northwest HSP Network

A social network and support group system for Highly Sensitive People in the Pacific Northwest

Created: 2008.01.25

Last updated: 2008.07.13

Why HSP Groups? >>

Why HSP Groups?

Why a regional network? Why local groups? Why should Highly Sensitive Persons specifically seek out and socialize with each other, rather than just with whatever people happen to come through our lives?

To many HSPs, the idea of willingly participating in a group event-- even if it is a "peer group"-- may seem counterintuitive. After all, the majority of HSPs are introverts, and many have a history of negative experiences with group events.

The idea of "HSP Groups" is a direct result of the very positive feedback from HSPs who have attended the periodic HSP Gatherings around the US, and abroad. The bottom line is that nobody "gets" the HSP experience like a fellow HSP, and the insights, validation and good feelings that come with spending time in the company of true peers are immeasurable.

But don't take my word for it. Read others' thoughts about why HSPs benefit from knowing each other-- especially 2001 Gathering attendee Marcia Norris' article "Why HSPs Need to Gather"

Two HSP Gatherings have already taken place in our region: The first Northwestern HSP Gathering was held in August 2005 on Whidbey Island, WA; another Gathering took place on Gabriola Island in BC, in September 2006.

Why the Internet?

It's a question I have been asked a lot. Many ask me "Well, why not just run an ad in the paper and get a support group going?"

My experiences-- which seem to be shared by HSP group hosts around the US, and abroad-- is that HSPs like to "think about" things before doing them, and once the decision is made, to "start slowly."

The Internet based group format offers a number of advantages, in this respect.

Let's say someone is interested in finding other HSPs in their area. They can start by searching on the web, which might lead to a web site such as this. Here, they can read a bit about how groups work, and where they can be found. If that sounds interesting, they can become part of the web-based HSP community for their area/region. Through a web community, they can gradually get to know some of the people they would end up being in a face-to-face group with. A certainly comfort level can be built, to where going to the group doesn't feel quite so much like "going to meet a bunch of strangers."

With the newspaper ad approach, you show up somewhere "next Tuesday at 7:00pm," and you have NO idea who's going to be there, what's going to happen, nor whether you'll feel comfortable with the people. On top of which, there would be NO screening process to ensure that attendees ever were HSPs.

I'm an HSP-- and I certainly know which approach to making contact with HSPs I'd prefer. I'd be surprised if you didn't feel the same way!

A smaller, simpler approach to creating HSP connections

Clearly, while going to a Gathering may be the ideal way to meet other HSPs, it is not feasible for the majority of people-- from a cost, time, stress, and scheduling perspective. Yes, they are extremely positive, empowering and rewarding experiences, but most HSPs would prefer something closer to home, as well something that just takes a little time and energy, rather than a "full immersion experience" lasting 3-5 days.

The most reasonable alternative is the local HSP peer group. Not a "support group" in the sense of a professional therapist running group therapy sessions, but a support-IVE group of HSP peers who get together on a weekly, bi-weekly, monthly or some other schedule to simply BE together, and discuss the daily issues only fellow HSPs can truly relate to. Although not "therapy" in the traditional sense, such groups can, by nature, be very healing.

Why? One of the frequent topics of discussion at HSP Gatherings is the issue of "marginalization" and "invalidation," which HSPs often feel. A sensitive person frequently ends up not feeling valued in our very aggressive, competitive and "stimulus-intensive" society. In her talks and workshops, Elaine Aron often speaks of the value and importance to HSPs, of "re-learning" how it feels to have positive and rewarding connections with other people. This can be achieved through co-counseling (a supportive peer-to-peer relationship), HSP "dyad partnerships" (also a true-friend supportive relationship with an HSP peer), and small groups of HSPs meeting to offer both a "social connection," as well as mutual support and validation.

...nobody "gets" the HSP experience like a fellow HSP, and the insights, validation and good feelings that come with spending time in the company of true peers are immeasurable.