The Pacific Northwest HSP Network

A social network and support group system for Highly Sensitive People in the Pacific Northwest

Created: 2008-07.13

Last updated: 2008.07.14

Welcome Port Townsend HSPs!

If you have come to this page, chances are you are responding to a flyer you saw at the Library, at the Food Co-op, at Centrum, or perhaps an announcement in the Leader. On the off chance you found us through a web search, you're certainly very welcome, too!

This web page-- as well as the remainder of the site-- is part of the Pacific Northwest HSP Network, a regional system created to help Highly Sensitive People connect with each other. It may seem slightly strange for people to connect, just based on a psychological trait, but there are some definite rewards to doing so.

I encourage you to take a little time to look around this web site. It will tell you a bit about the overall Network's purpose, as well as offer some insights into why highly sensitive people benefit from knowing each other. If you have questions or doubts about what "Highly Sensitive" means, do spend a few minutes with the "Am I really an HSP?" page which has some good information, as well a link to a "sensitivity self-test" on Dr. Elaine Aron's web site.

If you feel comfortable doing so, I do recommend that you join the Network. The "Join the Network!" page will explain a little more about that process. Once your membership application has been processed, look for the Port Townsend group in the Network's "groups" area. However, there is NO OBLIGATION to join the network to be part of a potential Port Townsend HSP group. The Network merely makes group communication much easier.

Some thoughts about having a local group for HSPs

When I lived in another part of the country, I helped start and host a local group. At the time, I was seeking friendships, and was hoping to connect with other people who truly "got" this trait of ours. In the course of the two years I was involved with the group (which ended because I moved to PT), it became very apparent to me that sensitives benefit enormously from having a "peer network." Certainly, everyone is capable of "getting along in the world" but there's a huge benefit to gain from being able to share with others without the frequent need to "explain yourself." Even if a group only meets face-to-face once a month, or perhaps every two weeks, you know that someone else near you "gets it," and you find that you can reach for the phone-- or send an email-- and get a kind of support and understanding you might not get as readily from family, friends or co-workers.

Starting slowly; minding people's needs, instead of worrying about "approval"

In thinking about a Port Townsend HSP peer/social group, I am hoping to not repeat some of the problems of the group I had in Texas. For one, I believe it is best to start slowly, rather than to just make an announcement of a meeting date, and hope people show up.

HSPs-- for the most part-- tend to be somewhat cautious by nature, not to mention that 70% of them are introverts. Having a group of people get somewhat familiar with each other through email (a listserv, a group in a social network) makes for a higher level of comfort when the time comes to get together, face-to-face. It also allows for everyone to share their needs, hopes, scheduling preferences and expectations for the group, and what it will provide-- ahead of time. On other words, you not just at the mercy of one person's idea of what a group "should" look like. An online group also makes it easier on new people, when they discover the group... ongoing group email discussions helps eliminate uncomfortable feelings of "I'm new here, and all you guys already know each other."

Elaine Aron, in the workbook companion to "The Highly Sensitive Person," suggests that new HSP groups set a finite schedule (such as "six bi-weekly meetings") in the interest of creating a framework people feel comfortable committing to. Naturally, if the group turns out to be rewarding and dynamic, an open schedule can be adopted. This is certainly a valid way to keep people from feeling like they are obligated "forever," but the downside is that it discourages newcomers from joining the group.

Some "structure" is highly recommended; perhaps a topic/issue can be the focus of each meeting. Structured dialogue-- perhaps following something along the lines of the "Conversation Café" framework-- also contributes to ensuring that everyone's voice is heard.

My personal experience has been that a group size of 6-7 people is the best. 3-4 is doable, but there's a risk of the dialogue stagnating if the same topics are brought up repeatedly. Larger groups are certainly acceptable, but given that many HSPs experience some discomfort with the idea of "groups," are best managed by either dividing meeting participants into two smaller groups, or by increasing the frequency of meetings (perhaps weekly) to the point where the size of any one meeting is smaller.

If what you've read here makes sense to you, and you wish to participate, I recommend that your next step be to join the Network, create your network profile, and find the Port Townsend group. Unfortunately, I cannot point you directly to it, because network membership is required-- see the "How does it work?" page for more.

f you have questions about the Port Townsend HSP group, or the Pacific Northwest HSP Network, or would just like to make contact, please feel free to email me at: